Words from the Past

Within my heart, I felt that I needed that feeling. The feeling that I had read so many times in books. I believe that I would do anything to get it. The way it works is so precious and rare that few have actually experienced the joy it gives to you. My adventure finding this feeling. The feeling of love.
You could say that I was loved. I had a family that cared about me, but that type of love was not what I was looking for. My friends loved me, nor was that what I was looking for. You could say that I was looking for a fairytale love, true love or love at first sight. Some think that this does not exist, but I truly believe that it does. The fact that I only read it in books and I have yet to see it real life might be a problem. I might not have looked hard enough, which I am trying to convince myself. I have a few months left in school and to prove myself right, I am going to find examples of this love I have read of. Today, April 17th 2008, I begin my search.

Seriously?

Seriously?
Is it that hard to understand?
Begging to hang out.
Giving nicknames.
Saying I luv you.
When does it become apparent that maybe you went too far.
Or do you just not care?
Are you that selfish that you could care less if you are crossing a line?
Well I guess you are.
You have to have every guy after you.
Have to have a guy that is taken?
Seriously?
Open your eyes.
Use your common sense. Your morals.
Maybe if you thought about it instead of just enjoying doing whatever you like,
you'd understand that you are wrong.
For the first time in your life.
And you are just making it worse. Making fights. Making hate.
You are hurting your so called best friend.
For your own good.
Way to be a friend.
Seriously?

Don't Sweat the Little Things

I have discovered a problem. With me. I sweat the little things.
I have not been able to enjoy the life I have because I am sweating the little things.
I worry about things too.
What are they saying?
What if everyone finds out?
Why can I not trust her?
Why does he choose her over me?
Why? Why? WHY?
I have so many questions yet I know that half of them I will never have answered.
Maybe if I stop worrying. I cannot control anyones decisions. What happens will happen. I have no control over fate.
There's my problem. Especially since I like to be in control.
So I guess I need to stop sweating the little things.
I just wish everything will just happen and not lead up to a big event.
I know what is going to happen. Or what is not. Depending on the decision.
I just wish it would happen already.

A Wet, Cold, Amazing Day!

Today was I VERY good day. School was canceled because our school district thinks about the worse case scenario. So I was stuck at home ALL day, but luckily, Erik decided to come bring me soup and hang out with me the whole day. I love relaxing with him, watching a movie, and enjoying being with each other. So I managed to get nothing productive done, except apply for another job, and I am proud of my laziness. I needed this so that my mind could forget about all the stress of exams. So now with a 2 hour delay of school tomorrow, I shall get extra sleep and wake up refreshed and ready. Today was a good day.

What is a girlfriend?

So I looked up the definition of a girlfriend, on Urban Dictionary of course.
Girlfriend:the one person you can really share everything with and who will be there through the good, the bad and the fucking excellent - notjust significant other, but essential.

Now, I have decided to evaluate my abilities of being a good girlfriend based on this definition.
Can you really share everything with me?
-Well I sure hope that you can. I mean, I will listen to everything you say. I share everything, basically, about myself with you. I hope that you share everything about you with me. Sure, we still have lots to learn about each other, but hopefully we will have the time to do that.
-Will I be there through the good, the bad, and the fucking excellent? Well haven't I been there for you through all of that. There hasn't been much bad, only a few times, but no matter what, even if we break up, I will be there for you.
Am I not just significant but essential?
-Well you are to me, so I sure hope that I am to you.

Now you ask the question: What is a boyfriend?
a great guy who make you feel good bout urself... a protector, and ur best friend
Example:keep ur hands off my boyfriend! he's mine! :)

I NEED MONEY!

So for the whole day, I have been searching for a job.
Which is a lot harder than you would think.
No one is hiring teenagers.
IT SUCKS!
So now I have to wait for money.
Which SUCKS!
Maybe some opportunity will show up.
I was thinking about waitressing, that supposedly gets you a lot of money in tips.
SOMEONE HELP ME!

Damn Females Suck

With the addition of a MacBook to my life, I have returned to my blogging ways.
So really the main problem in my life is my own gender,
yes I know, thats not exactly the best thing to have a problem with.
Its just that the female gender is full of what seems like bitches, sluts, whores, and well bad people.
I mean don't get me wrong, some of the women I know are pretty awesome,
basically my best friends, but still there are some specific ones that I can't stand.
The ones in particular are the ones that don't have some girl friends in their life the question what they are doing.
"Don't you think hanging out with another girl's boyfriend late at night is wrong?"
"Why is it that you act like his girlfriend when obviously you aren't?"
"You are doing something wrong."
Stuff like that needs to be said sometimes but they hate to hear it so they refuse to have girl friends.
So all their best friends are guys.
In particular, guys with girlfriends.
So basically, I get to sit here and watch my boyfriend go off and be besties with another girl.
Also, what I can not stand is when a girl refuses to admit liking a guy, but decides to act obvious.
JUST ADMIT IT!
Damn, females suck.

XOXO till next time